Snuggled in bed, reading the June issue of Vogue Australia and avoiding my assignments.
I still have:
1 journalism exam
1 journalism article
1 radio show
1 radio interview
1 radio exam
1 documentary
1 documentary essay
It seems like alot, yet I'm not panicked. Maybe it is because I have no pressure from a partner or boyfriend to keep up with their life (which I detest by the way), little or no work right now because my current employer doesn't want to give me many hours, or maybe I am growing up and becoming less anxious (yeah right). But I dont feel it... the impending doom, the impending panic attacks and freak out sessions. Normally, gripped by fear and anxiety I would hurridly type out assignments forgetting font sizing and correct referencing, staying all night on youtube in tears thinking I'd fail everything and stuffing my face with chocolate, chain smoking and guzzling energy drinks til I felt as though I'd have a heart attack (that said I gave myself a heart murmur and internal bleeding from said practice and have now started a healthier diet this year around).
Happily I can say I am no longer a smoker, 2 months quit. I no longer drink energy drinks, 8 months quit. I dont drink over 4 cups of coffee a day unless it is dire circumstances, and I try to have a few cups of green tea or chai per day.
I plan to improve my diet, cut down on chocolate and carbs, stick to low g.i, aswell as start doing walking for more excercise and stretches in the morning.
I have found that health is directly linked to happiness, maybe I am happier now that my blood isn't rushing with sugar and caffine and taurine (which comes from bulls balls eww guys eww), and that I for once in my life get at least 6 to 7 hours sleep per night. I also have a car so if the weather is bad I can get to my destination safely and not miss out on lectures. Not smoking each day makes me feel clearer in the head, and instead of using it to procrastinate I now try and get straight into my assignments (sept for right now haha). Also I save around $50 a week (not that i have anything to show for it). So all in all I am healthier than me, this time last year which is a great improvment considering university is alot more difficult and time consuming, and that I have no money.
I hope when it comes to this time next semester I can say I am even healthier, and hopefully slightly more wealthy.
I hope that for all of my friends as well. The last few years have been trying for all of us, but if we dont keep hope in our hearts that things will improve, with love, life, finances, health, body image etc etc... than we may as well give up and give in to saddness.
But I believe saddness is only an emotion, while happiness is a state of existance. I try and get there every day, and I hope you guys do too.
Much love darklings
-Jekki
:)
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