Make over Miseries

I am dying for a make over. My hair hasnt been done since I dyed it 'Borg' green for the Prometheus opening night (dying my hair the colour of sci-fi horror movies is just my thing ok... inspired by fiction life imitating art etc etc) (and on that note I know there are no Borgs in the Alien universe, it was a similar green to alien blood/acid but I liked the name Borg green better. Reminds me of lazer lights.) which was many months ago and it was end of april early may when I last had it cut, regrowth done etc. Now it has many inches of regrowth, washed out blonde and brown with highlights of yellowish green. Luckily the dye was manic panic so the highlights look ok still, but not the same as a nice fresh dye job. But its not as simple as that, last time I bought make up I accidently bought the wrong palette colour, starlight by manic panic instead of moonlight, it makes my skin a shade darker when I apply it and is slightly thicker than I am used to leaving a slight pilly residue. I have run out of moisturiser so am using an old Estee Lauder one my sister gave me which is way too dense for my skin. No eye cream so my sleepless nights are visible on my face and almost all my eye shadows are running out. The one thing I am fine with is my lip glosses and lipsticks. I am adoring Apocalips by Illamasqua as well as D'lilac by LimeCrime and Mint to be. So where has all my money gone that I am in that bad of a cosmetics situation ???

...

I have no idea...
Honestly ... I am trying to think. I paid off my Petticoats and Gallantry dress, some other clothing layby's before the end of Univeristy Semester1, paid for more work on my back tattoo for my documentary, bills to pay and debts to sort, drinking money for my Birthday shindig... I spent lots of money at the lady gaga concert early June (leather biker jacket with born this way unicorn, worth every cent!!!) but I just dont know why I havn't been investing in cosmetics. So unlike me. I also got new Doc Martens... ( buying boots is SO LIKE ME)

Next week is pay week. Next week is student allowance week. Next week I should be able to afford to see an accountant so I can do my tax return. These 3 things bring a mischievious smile to my face. I sooo need money. Not just to pay bills, to buy an external hard drive and Final Draft for windows (so I no longer have to format scripts badly myself) but I am dying to get my hair done (haha see what I did there so damn punny) organise some Late winter/ Early spring fashion for myself and buy some make up so Im not using the same purples and silver over and over.

I dont really feel like me right now, almost no little parcels in the mail from clothes companies, no new make up or hair styles, its been at least 2 to 3 months since I was tattooed (which means 3 months since my hair was done) and every time I go to buy make up I seem to come home with bottle upon bottle of chi chi nail polish fake eye lashes and moon marks (DONT ASK WHY, IT JUST HAPPENS)

Some one needs to remind me to buy some acctual make up.

WISH LIST FOR NEXT WEEK

Jasmine hair treatment from lush.
New sugarpill and limecrime eye shadows.
Eye cream from lush.
Under eye treatment from Loccitane.
Oversized off the shoulder tee's, to modify and layer with short shorts and Doc's.
The perfect black skinny jeans (and if I find them I'll let you know)
All the funky orange hair dye reminiscent of LEELOO ever made by manic panic and fudge.
Moonlight vampire's veil by manic panic.
Surprise new tattoo.
Surprise new piercing.

And what I dont need- Nail polish and Fake eyelashes. (remind me).

Feed the Machine

I feel like I am stuck in some weird cycle of uni/work/uni/work and I can't take pleasure in pleasure... I dont know if this is just me, being too strict on myself. Wanting to look perfect get perfect marks perform perfectly at uni ... there is so much pressure in society right now on females and perfection. Its not good enough to just look perfect and run a perfect household like the women of the 50's had to. There is now the pressure of your own career, a higher education, to be cultured and travel and live outside the box while some how mantaining this ever elusive perfection (or appearance of ...)
I can hardly put into words how much this idealism of perfection affects me. I admit it is a pressure I put on myself. I am constantly told by my family I study too much, I put myself down when it comes to my appearance while others reassure me I look good, I judge my writing harshly while others genuinly enjoy it... I think I am begining to see a pattern here.

In the struggle to reach and or maintain perfection, I am losing the ability to be happy and enjoy anything. Not much point in perfection if you're perfectly unhappy.

That said I feel a lot happier with a fresh dye job, new hair style, a new tattoo piece, new ensemble to wear out. I dont exactly 'like' getting stared at all the time but it's a small price to pay to dress the way I want and express myself. Confidence comes in many shapes and forms and for me confidence is platform boots a trench coat and a corset. Teased hair and bright dyes, fake eye lashes and fresh tattoos. Each to their own I suppose.

I hope this funk dissipates by next week. As next week is make over week I am sure it will. Superficial yes, but knowing I will have enough money to pay bills get tattooed and get my hair done is a huge weight off my shoulders. I dont even think I can explain it properly... but sometimes that confidence boost has to be superficial... to help you work harder study harder write better and open up your mind to new ways of thinking and posibilities. To give me the confidence to be the best me I can be, and get closer to perfection.

Yep this blog has come full circle.

UniBlues

And so another semester of University begins. Im sorry I haven't been on here much lil darklings, after my birthday mid/June I spent a lot of time working, writing and focusing on my own self development.
Plus chilling with some amazing friends, watching as many films as I could and having some crazy drunken times.

Memorable road trip, Short fiction which Im quite proud of, weight loss and decreasing my debt are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to how I spent my break.

But seriously I dont think 4 weeks was enough. Uni is hectic as per usual, I have another class compared to last semester and the assignments are already piling up. At least I can make some attempts at writing and producing through out this semester.

I am really really enjoying writing short stories now. I like the 3 act structure with out having to add too much detail. Or you can add as much detail as you want but focus on a small space in time instead of a story spanning over days or months or even years.

Anyway enough about writing, I need to be reading. Borrowing out every book on short screen plays probably wasnt the best idea but I wont let myself down this semester. Time for kitten cuddles and berrocca to KILL THIS FUCKING FLU.

Oh and if you dont know anything about my cat, she is massive and omg I'm so obsessed with her coz she is the cutest thing in the world. Seriously <3 I mean, look at her paw, it's massive. And full of claws. Another plus :D

Ghoulish Gallavanting

I have been rediculously spoilt. I have amazing friends like, seriously. Each in their own way spoilt me with their time, attention, money etc etc. But I am a fairly attention seeking person. Twas only natural. Still riding this high from being so happy. I love that moment when you're drinking, and everything becomes honestly clear. It's a good moment. Then, when you're sober, emotions etc kick in. Im just trying to hold onto that amazing second of clarity I had between sips of whiskey nestled between amazing friends. Two days later and things are still looking good so fingers crossed I keep this wisdom Ive gained at 23 with me.
To all my friends who bought me gifts, wrote me letters and cards, posted stuff from over sea's or across the country, sent me emails, texts, facebook posts and took me out for coffee or chai or booze or breakfast or, better yet, celebrated with me at Lychee Lounge: I thankyou. I was never the popular ghoul at school, like, had no friends no matter how hard I tried. But as an adult (yeah right) I've finally realised I am surrounded by the most amazing people. No more bullshits or popularity contests. Just epic friendships.

The long weekend of wonderful began with picking up the wonderful Marnie Moo from the airport at 10:30ish.a.m friday!

Dressed to distress??

OMG she fed me :) And I got a new monster high doll. Such a happy, grown up Jekki ... (?)

Hey there sailor (wink wink)

Just too cool kids, with cool hair, being cool, spotaneously cool.

One of the reason's I enjoy my suburb

 (despite that Edward Scissorhands nagging out of place feeling)

Took Marnie to visit the lovely Alex at his parlour to get something cute and pretty tattooed on her back. The lil trooper even went out with me that night.

At last, sipping Absinthe and finally enjoying the night. Too many crazy times to list, but I felt so spoilt by my friends on this night, and really the last two weeks have been constant Birthday surprises. If every one was as lucky as me the world would be a better more tolerable place.

If only all my Birthdays had been this good. Oh well here's to making the most of amazing times and spending my short time (by that I mean all human life is short, although Im not human, anyway, life is short not, Im about to die) with the people who count. (And not every one who went to my drinks were in the photos, wish I took photos before getting too intoxicated to care.)

<3 to my Darklings

-Jekki